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Citat – Marriage Quotes


Starting with my Favorite Marriage Quote which is by Mignon McLaughlin:


“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”


A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.

~Zsa Zsa Gabor


I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

~Rita Rudner


Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.

~Evelyn Hendrickson


A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

~Joey Adams


Do not pray to marry the one that you love, but to love the one that you marry.

~Spencer Kimball


Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.



Let men tremble to win the hand of woman, unless they win along with it the utmost passion of her heart.

~Nathaniel Hawthorne


A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers.

~Ruth Bell Graham


Man’s best possession is a sympathetic wife.

~Euripedes Antigone


Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.

~Gary Busey


Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t they’d be married too.

~H.L. Mencken


An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

~Agatha Christie


Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.

~Oscar Widle


Marry’d in haste, we oft repent at leisure.

~Benjamin Franklin


Marriage is a land mine. A really intimate land mine. Adultery to kitchen fires. Never a dull moment.

~Nora Roberts


Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot.

~Minnie Pearl


The institution of marriage itself strikes me as being in no trouble at all.

How many things do 95 Percent of people do? They should have a Defense of Voting Act.

~Robert Lang


Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women.

~Marion Smith


Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.

~Joey Adams


The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

~H.V. Prochnow


Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener.

~ Pauline Thomason


I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

~Rodney Dangerfield


All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.

~Raymond Hull


Those marriages generally abound most with love and constancy that are preceded by a long courtship.

~Joseph Addison


A good marriage is a contest of generosity.

~Diane Sawyer


Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?

~Barbra Streisand


The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.

~Oscar Wilde


Marriage is like life in this – that it is a field of battle, and not a bed of roses.

~R L Stevenson


When a man opens the car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.

~Prince Philip


The Japanese have a word for it.

It’s Judo — the art of conquering by yielding.

The Western equivalent of judo is, ‘Yes, dear.’

J. P. McEvoy


In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.

~ Helen Rowland


The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret

~ Henny Youngman


We have the greatest pre-nuptial agreement in the world. It’s called love.

~Gene Perret


Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.

~Samuel Johnson


No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married

~ Benjamin Disraeli


I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

~ Henny Youngman


One good husband is worth two good wives; for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued.

~Benjamin Franklin


In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

~ Rita Rudner


My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

~ Rodney Dangerfield


Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too.

~ H.L. Mencken


Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.

Zsa Zsa Gabor


A parting Joke:

What’s the difference between in-laws and out-laws?

Out-laws are wanted!


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