Lol
Starting with my Favorite Marriage Quote which is by Mignon McLaughlin:
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.
~Zsa Zsa Gabor
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
~Rita Rudner
Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.
~Evelyn Hendrickson
A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
~Joey Adams
Do not pray to marry the one that you love, but to love the one that you marry.
~Spencer Kimball
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
~Anonymous
Let men tremble to win the hand of woman, unless they win along with it the utmost passion of her heart.
~Nathaniel Hawthorne
A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers.
~Ruth Bell Graham
Man’s best possession is a sympathetic wife.
~Euripedes Antigone
Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.
~Gary Busey
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t they’d be married too.
~H.L. Mencken
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
~Agatha Christie
Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.
~Oscar Widle
Marry’d in haste, we oft repent at leisure.
~Benjamin Franklin
Marriage is a land mine. A really intimate land mine. Adultery to kitchen fires. Never a dull moment.
~Nora Roberts
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot.
~Minnie Pearl
The institution of marriage itself strikes me as being in no trouble at all.
How many things do 95 Percent of people do? They should have a Defense of Voting Act.
~Robert Lang
Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women.
~Marion Smith
Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
~Joey Adams
The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
~H.V. Prochnow
Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener.
~ Pauline Thomason
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
~Rodney Dangerfield
All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.
~Raymond Hull
Those marriages generally abound most with love and constancy that are preceded by a long courtship.
~Joseph Addison
A good marriage is a contest of generosity.
~Diane Sawyer
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?
~Barbra Streisand
The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.
~Oscar Wilde
Marriage is like life in this – that it is a field of battle, and not a bed of roses.
~R L Stevenson
When a man opens the car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.
~Prince Philip
The Japanese have a word for it.
It’s Judo — the art of conquering by yielding.
The Western equivalent of judo is, ‘Yes, dear.’
J. P. McEvoy
In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.
~ Helen Rowland
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret
~ Henny Youngman
We have the greatest pre-nuptial agreement in the world. It’s called love.
~Gene Perret
Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
~Samuel Johnson
No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married
~ Benjamin Disraeli
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
~ Henny Youngman
One good husband is worth two good wives; for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued.
~Benjamin Franklin
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
~ Rita Rudner
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
~ Rodney Dangerfield
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too.
~ H.L. Mencken
Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
A parting Joke:
What’s the difference between in-laws and out-laws?
Out-laws are wanted!